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I stand with Palestine
Whispers of the Satan or OCD?
It was a day like any other when the girl was busy offering her Maghrib prayers. Out of nowhere, a blasphemous thought jumped into her mind. She tried to brush it off, but all her efforts proved futile. Suddenly, the Quranic verses in her mind transformed into jumbled-up words. Everything became scattered. She quickly completed her prayers and went to do other household chores.
After that day, such thoughts would come and go. The girl became confused about whether she was a good Muslim or not. The frequency of these thoughts kept increasing. Now, she felt compelled to repeat the words and phrases that got stuck in her mind. She could not even read books because certain words would get stuck in her mind, and she would incessantly repeat them, like a Teletubby or a robot. While in the bathroom, she would recite the Kalma several times, thinking she was impure. She would wash herself constantly, fearing contamination. Her behavior was spiraling downward. Her mind would tell her to do sexually horrifying things and make her think that she was not a good practicing Muslim. Now, she felt compelled to offer Taubah and Astaghfar, fearing that if she didn’t do so, she would end up in hell. This would provide some relief from anxiety and tension buildup inside her brain. When the thoughts wouldn’t end, she would often end up with a migraine.
So, what was going on in her mind? Were these thoughts real, or was she possessed by a djinni?
Intrusive thoughts, commonly called involuntary thoughts, and from an Islamic perspective, whispers of Satan or Waswas, are the most common phenomena one faces when suffering from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD). Such thoughts have nothing to do with one’s beliefs or their actual intentions. They are simply a result of certain chemical imbalances, which can be corrected through medication and therapy.
If you know someone going through such thoughts, speak to them. Counsel them to seek therapy and medications so that they can enjoy their lives again and stop thinking of themselves as bad human beings.
The proposal dilemma
Finally, the time has arrived when a spinster like me has to grapple with the proposal dilemma. For the past few years, I’ve observed my eldest sister enduring the public scrutiny, criticism, and rejection from the judgmental aunties. Now, I find myself in the same nerve-wracking situation, where portly aunties arrive at your doorstep to assess your appearance, speech, mannerisms, and overall character. They nitpick your every flaw, seemingly using it as a way to cope with the rejection they themselves experienced in the past from similar aunties (personal catharsis), perpetuating this unhealthy cycle.
Allow me to present an article I wrote years ago as a means to vent my personal frustrations.
They have been waiting for the last three times for them to show at their doorstep but every time round an excuse was made that they were busy, or they had to go somewhere. To her all the lame excuses was heard as ‘blah, blah, duh, jackasses’. Finally, they arrived… First and foremost, they took a quick stroll around the house to see how much moolah they can acquire from them and at last they took seats making themselves comfortable on leather sofas. Their gaze now lingered across the room and they took a surreptitious glance at the new installment: split ac. After a moment’s silence, they acquired information about the family’s residence. They were presented with pastries, samosas, and many other bakery items to keep them busy for a while.
Ladies and gentlemen the moment you’ve been waiting for has arrived: now they will check her out like cattle on display at the maweshi mandi (Eid-ul-Adha bazar). She hesitantly presented a cup of tea to the groom-to-be; he quenched his thirst not by taking a sip but passing a lustful stare. She was questioned about her education, hobbies, and job. After crunching and munching some time they decided to leave. Her parents were relieved that she’ll get hitched but the Rishtay-wali aunty said on WhatsApp that they have rejected the proposal saying that the girl is slightly kali (down in complexion). Now at thirty years of age, she stays at home unmarried.
Why are we not putting an end to this situation? Where is our conscience? How low have we fallen morally? It is truly sad when I see my eldest sister getting rejected every now and then. Why are people so interested in money, looks and social status? When the Prophet {S.A.W.W} has asked men to give utmost importance to seerah (moral and religious character). When I questioned my mother about this, she was awestruck and said we can’t rebel against societies norms. My queries were answered later saying that with time things have changed in other words progressed. In earlier times a girl was judged on her cooking, sewing, and home décor skills, a little heed was paid to her looks and what social status her family possessed. However, jehaiz (dowry) was still considered necessary. In this century marriage has been made a business and the Rishtay-wali and the marriage bureaus add to the worth of groom. For a local proposal the bride’s family is asked to pay around thirty thousand and for a foreigner they must pay almost a lac once the proposal is finalized. Prior to this, both bride’s and groom’s parents are asked to register asking an amount of around five thousand.
The dilemma attached to marriage is; if you decide to marry, you must invest a lot of money, if you don’t, you end up tolerating taunts of relatives about being unmarried. It’s high time we put end to this shit-show. What if the groom’s family has a daughter? Will they prefer rejection? No, they won’t! The same goes for a bride’s family. Please stop giving importance to how much the groom’s earning. At the end of the day, have a simple wedding & live and let live.
Alice in Wonderland
Once upon a time, Alice fell, she hit the ground. Blood spattered across her forehead. Unable to think she wandered here and there. As she explored, she got to know that she is down a rabbit hole. She is inside a mysterious place called wonderland.
Here soldiers feast on blood of young kids and peddlers sells commodities greater than actual price. She was astonished by this discovery. Upon further exploration she knew that mockery and ridicule were common traits of inhabitants. Sometimes they play dress up where whoever is wearing the least amount of clothes is considered the most forward and modern. In wonderland people fight over trivial matters like land disputes and there is great injustice.
Alice was in utter despair. She didn’t know what to do. She tried to escape but she was too down below. She cried for help, but no one came. Waiting and crying for days, Alice decided that she is going to help herself. Alice met the residents of wonderland but to them she seemed like an alien. She tried to pursue them to do good. But they just won’t listen. Finally, Alice decided if she can’t change their minds, she’ll just survive, and she will no longer cry. From this day onwards, Alice became a strong woman and a beacon of hope. She was light in darkness, day in night, happiness in sadness and her aura emitted love wherever she went.
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Last Wish
I have been thinking about this wish for years. Twenty-five! Never thought I would be alive at this age. I thought I would be dead and under dust. But somehow I am alive and doing fine.
In Asian societies “25” means the end of life for a girl – if she ain’t betrothed till this age or done something remarkable with her career or education.
At first, I wished to own a German Shephard. “MEN ARE DOGS”, being with a dog is like being with a man – what’s the difference? (Duh!). A dog would actually be more faithful and loyal than any man can ever be.
But then something struck me and I canceled this wish.
Only get one wish per year! Should carefully utilize them!
I thought again……
I always wanted to adopt a kid. It could be added to my wish list. As weird as it may sound and a bit AMMA/AUNTY type too, a desire is a desire.
But as I, myself is financially dependent, never gonna happen. Wishing doesn’t hurt. So, I can be as imaginative as I like.
Wildest wish (CANCELLED IT TOO)!
So, what do I really want when I turn 25?
After a lot of thinking,
DIE A VIRGIN (TA-DAH)!
And that’s the end of my wish list. I am officially an old lady now!
A message for all my followers: Msg
Follow up post: 24 wishes
The end
This is officially the last post on this blog, have another bonus post scheduled for Jan 20, 2018. I wanted to share my journey and collect memories. It was never about likes, shares, comments or follows. Writing helps me cope grief but there are some who can’t stand it.
They just never appreciate,
Haters, only hate.
I’ll be writing more somewhere on pages of my diary and cherishing every lesson learned as I progress in life.
When a person dies the world doesn’t stop, people grief for a while (nowadays they mourn on social media), similarly one blog and one person won’t matter. Apologies, if I hurt someone through my posts, these were meant for fun not to make fun. I don’t do that, that’s just not me! Toodles.
Zillat (Disgrace)
Har bar apni zilat ko soouch smjh kar bhol jati hoon,
Log mjhpe hans dte hain tou mein bi unhe hansa dti hoon!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I forget everytime when I am disgraced,
People laugh at me, so I like being laughed at!
~Mehwish
Read more at: Disgraced
Hope
Do not jeopardize your well-being through irrational, unreasonable, and extravagant hopes.
~Hazrat Ali (R.A)
Family Gatherings South Asian way
Imagine a night full of glitter, glam, and all the creme de la creme. All the teenage girls loaded with makeup as if it was their last chance to find a mate for themselves. Dressed in tightly fitted clothes, to show every inch of their slutty bodies, a few minxes, some fake mullahs, and a few pimps (matchmakers) to fix a night for their hos. The red carpet is asking all of them to make an appearance. It’s dying for their feet’s styled in branded killer heels to walk on it.
I am not talking about a Hollywood Oscar night, crying out for loud! It’s an Asian wedding. LMAO!
Trembling comes the girls followed by the boys. It’s necessary for them to wear it whether they fall and crush their picture-perfect orthodontic display (Tauba-Allah maaf kre sexism ki inteha)!
The boys in their tuxedos also want to make a mark, so, they would go to boy parlors (Sorry sorry, special parlors for men). Whether there is no single penny in their pocket to eat, but they all would spend millions on this pretentious night. It’s essential too. Otherwise, how would the audience know that they are of the elite-class? Right!
All the flour packets with their straightened hair (ghanto istari hue baal) now make way to the professional photographers so as to get their mug clicked. Afterall this was the moment they made all preparations for, spending restless nights (Allah aik picture achi ajae tou facebook pe laguangi, fallah ko jalana hai).
Now, after a dance (in other words chipak chipak kr thumka) sequence, it’s finally time to play the wedding games. No, no, I am not talking about the “show the bride’s and the groom’s face in the mirror” or the “find the ring in the bowl” game. I am referring to the most loved game of the so-called upper class. Find a weak Bechara/Bechari, a poor relative whom they invited out of their charitable nature and pass comments. (Khane se pait ni bharta iss sb se bharta hai logon ka. Dil ko taskeen kaise pohchege).
How dare a poor relative, they can’t look better than them! They can’t dress properly, the dress to impress phrase wasn’t made for them, the respected elite owns it too.A phase of teasing and taunting begins and ends with the gathering (gandi makhi ko dhood se nikalna parta hai warna dhood khaarab hojata hai).
Someone writes about the night and posts photographs on social media:
“Wat an awesum nite, Omg, I belive dat i was a celebrity. and now see the selfie profusional camrea full hd. The dhulla dhullan I took photo with them”.
And the cycle continues. They all wanna be on top!
How the original picture was.
How it looks after editing!
Prose, Poetry and a lil' bit of Engineering 